During a training I attended, a wise teacher told us a true story that I would like to share with you as best I can...
A friend of his, let’s call him Sam, was the leader of a software developer team. Their project was going nowhere. Time was flying by but there were no results. They were stuck. When the Big Boss, who was in another city, called and said he was going to come around in a few weeks to see how things were going, Sam knew he had to do something. So he took a day off to think ... The next day, he spoke to his team:
“If we can’t find a solution, we will get fired, and they will hire new people for the project. So let’s think like new people.”
If you have a problem with someone or something and can’t find a solution, stop doing things the way you do them, stop using the same words or communication strategies, hoping that by some miracle they will suddenly start working.
Instead, take a step back and try to see things from another point of view, with new eyes. From there, you are more than likely to find a solution that was there in the first place, from there you might just find the way to communicate in a way that will work.
with Mel's help
Don’t hate me, I know I am blessed: I fall asleep inside three minutes after putting my head on the pillow. And I can sleep anywhere any time: in daylight or in darkness, with noise or without, in a crowded environment or in a peaceful one...
I’ve always been like this. To me, insomnia is still being awake 20 minutes after going to bed. When that happens, I get up and go watch TV until my eyes shut by themselves. That can take a while, but when they do, up I go to bed and fall asleep immediately. Yes I am blessed. I know. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.
It’s true, I do sometimes wake up in the middle of the night or in the small hours of the morning. It used to drive me mad, but since I learned that our sleep patterns have cycles, each of which last 90 minutes on average, when I do wake up, I don’t panic as I know that it is likely going to take me 90 minutes to fall back asleep. And it usually does. My mind stays calm waiting for the cycle to run its course....
This said, I know a lot of people suffer from insomnia. So I thought that I could suggest a little something to try which I know works (friends told me!)
So the experiment this week, if you choose to do it, is to try Dr. Weil 4-7-8 breathing technique.
It is said that you should practice this technique twice a day –in bed and at some other time of your choosing (can be while sitting).
Step 1: Throughout the entire duration of the exercise, touch with your tongue your two front teeth where they join your gum/palate. This will stop your thoughts going around and around and around.
(** you can use this mini-technique, with or without the breathing, any time you need to stop your thoughts going around in your head**).
Step 2: Breathe in to a count of 4
Step 3: Hold your breath in to a count of 7
Step 4: Breathe out to a count of 8
Step 5: Repeat 3 more times (personally, I would keep at it a little longer as it can’t be bad...).
When you count in your head, do it at a speed that is comfortable for you. You don’t have to count suuuupeeeeer slooooooooooooooowlyyyyyyyyy 1................................2.......................... .3....................4..................... in the hope that your slow count will relax you (it might, but you also might lack air!). As long as the proportion between 4, 7 and 8 is maintained, then you’re ok.
Please note: Dr Weil says that you will see best results after doing this for two months. Yes, I know, two months might seem an eternity, but
1) start by trying it for a week, notice any changes in your sleep or anxiety level and go from there,
2) you already have trouble sleeping so there is nothing to lose even if it takes two months to see results, don’t you think? Time will pass whether you try it or not...
That’s simple, isn’t it?
Try it and let me know if it works for you, if you notice any changes in your sleep or anxiety level, ...
Oh, I wanted to ask::
Are you blessed like me: Do you fall asleep easily?
Do you have any tips to share with other sleep deprived people?
What have you tried?
Sleep cycles last 90 minutes on average so if you wake up in the middle of the night, it is likely going to take you 90 minutes to fall back to sleep
The 4-7-8 technique helps with sleep AND WITH ANXIETY. Use it whenever you need it during the day.
Step 1 can be used by itself at any time to stop the thought going around in your head.
With Mel’s help
Hi! I'm Mel! I am a life coach, not a writer, but I write articles once in a while which you might like... see under Categories below "articles" and "experiments".