Have you done experiment #1?
If not, please do so now. Click here for details
If yes, what did you find out?
Any patterns? Any repetitive thoughts?
I bet you found out that you talk to yourself all day (if you didn’t know already).
That your thoughts rarely stop, if ever, popping up.
It is also possible that they are not all very nice thoughts, I mean, that you are not being
very nice to yourself.
Chances are, you found out that there is one or two specific thoughts that come to you all the time.
Like in a loop. Round and round.
It could be:
I am so tired. I’m not good enough.
Life is s*%$t.
I am not a machine.
I’ve have had enough,
or something like that...
That’s normal, if normal means that most people experience this as well.
So, the experiment this week, if you choose to do it, is to start and question the truth of these thoughts,
be more specific and change the repetitive ones that are not supportive.
For example, if you tell yourself: "I am so tired".
Are you really that tired? Is it true at this point in time?
If yes, what is so tiring specifically?
Listen honestly to your answer and make a change: slow down, take a break, ask for help, go on a holiday, treat yourself...
If not, when did you start repeating that phrase over and over?
Was it during a very busy time? When was it exactly?
If it’s not true, how are you actually feeling?
You might realise that you are ok at the moment.
And since you are not actually tired, change that phrase to a positive one
and stop hypnotizing yourself into believing that you are tired.
Let’s take another example: "I’m not good enough".
Good enough at/for what specifically?
Is that true?
If you go around telling yourself you are not good enough, how do you think that is going to make you feel? What do you think you will notice? How will that influence your choices?
Every time you hear yourself saying: "I am not good enough", stop, check in and say something supportive.
Like: I am doing the best I can do today, I am worthy, I am learning to ____, I am in the process of ,
I’m getting better at this, What if I tried?...
In short, whatever your repetitive thought is, all you have to do is:
Catch yourself using it. Stop. And replace it with a positive one.
You’re going to need to make an effort at first but
know that you can quickly make a positive change in your life with this simple exercise.
Try it and let me know how it works for you!
If you need some help, contact me!
with mel's help
I love it when an advert is inspiring.
It happens, once in a while...
Last Sunday, I went to the cinema, and before the film, we were shown the new “Axe- Find your Magic” advert from Lynx...
(please note: I am in no way associated with Lynx, I just enjoy that advert...)
“WHO NEEDS SOME OTHER THING WHEN YOU GOT YOUR THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yesssssssssssssss!
Your thing! YOUR MAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC! Yesssssssssssssss! That’s it!!!!!” I thought...
Then by a great coincidence, when I arrived back home, I read the paper and the same topic was there for me to ponder...
It was right there, in an interview with Ethan Hawke. He said:
“There is this obsession with trying to make everybody look the same... and I don’t want to be the same as everybody else... You see it in kids – whatever is most unique about them is the first thing they feel a sense of shame about.”* Sunday Times UK, Style p.18 July 24 2016.
Why do we want to hide our THING? Our uniqueness?
Sometimes, often, (always !?!) what we perceive as being our biggest flaws, be it physical or psychological, turn out to actually be our biggest strengths,...
But for us to understand that, we probably will need to go on a journey of self-acceptance and transformation.
When we come to term with our so-called flaws, we realise that they are what make us who we are.
Each of us.
When we come to accept whatever we think our flaw is as our unique asset, our whole entire life experience changes and we are free to become the amazing person that we are.
So let’s make that a priority.
What is this flaw that you struggle with?
How is it something that can help you grow?
What is it teaching you? What can you learn from it?
In which way could this flaw become your greatest strength? Your uniqueness?
As they say in the Lynx advert:
Find your MAGIC
Now, work on it
with Mel's help
First published May 24th 2016
You don’t feel good enough to do THAT THING that you want to do.
So you don’t do it. You do nothing. You are stuck.
That “not good enough” feeling paralyses you.
You let it stop you from taking action and you procrastinate.
You think: “don’t do it, you’re not good enough, you’re going to fail, what will people think of you...”
Do you see how that feeling stops you from experiencing life?
Do you see how that feeling stops you from becoming great?
Do you see how that feeling stops you from being all you can be?
STOP AND WONDER...
What if you went ahead and tried anyway?
What if you gave it a go and just decided to do your best, whatever your best is at this point?
Do you see that doing your best IS ALL YOU CAN DO?
Do you see how doing your best IS GOOD ENOUGH?
By doing the best you can do now, you allow yourself to learn, practice, get better and, in time, master whatever you put your mind to.
By doing the best you can do now, you open yourself up to becoming the person you really are
And by continuously continuing to do your best, you will see progress in your life and feel proud about yourself.
THERE IS NO NEED TO BE PERFECT!!!!
YOU JUST NEED TO DO YOUR BEST!
Give yourself a chance. Take action and do your best because your best is good enough.
with Mel's help
First published November 11th 2015
On a training that I attended, as a first exercise, the teacher asked us to share, in groups of 3, a time when we felt proud of ourselves.
In my group, one of the ladies said: “Last year I graduated from University, at 40. I didn’t think I could do it!” Another one said: “Last night, I tried a new recipe which was challenging, and it was just delicious!” And I said: “A few months back, I went to a two day course to learn how to make chocolates”.
I remember this course well. In just two days, we would learn the tempering process, how to get a shiny chocolate that snaps when you break it, and how to make little chocolates truffles and center filled molded ones. After an entire morning listening and watching the teacher expertly working with chocolate, my heart jumped when he said: “Ok now it is your turn!”
I thought: “No! Not now! I am not ready!!!!!! Can you explain everything all over again pleeeeeeeeeeeease?" I could not hide or run. I was scared. Scared not to be able to do it. Scared not to be good enough. ... As everybody got up, I had no choice but to do the same. And after all, I was there to learn...
At the end of the second day, I left the school with two big bags full of wonderful little chocolates, of a variety of flavours, shapes and colours (they were not perfect, but looked and tasted better than expected), a big smile on my face, spring in my step and the feeling that I had accomplished something.
And you, what have you done lately that made you feel proud of yourself? Think about it...
Maybe you cooked a challenging dish, or baked a dessert that you had never done before, maybe you are running a few km every day, maybe you registered to a course to learn something that you are passionate about...
Go ahead. You’re not boasting (and anyway, we’ll keep that between us...)
So what have you done lately that made you feel proud of yourself?
When you are proud of yourself, it means that you exceeded your expectations, that you got out of your comfort zone. And I wonder if you realise how much getting out of your comfort zone makes you feel alive...
(If nothing comes to you, you have to remedy the situation now – contact me!)
Now back to the exercise I mentioned at the beginning... You could see how proud we were of these achievements. By simply remembering them, we stood a little taller, with a little smile on our faces, our eyes a little brighter. No boasting, only pride to having achieved something we did not know we could.
The teacher knew what he was doing when he asked us to do this exercise. I did not. And that is how I realised how great it feels for the soul to know we can achieve more than we think we can. It makes us feel alive!
Getting out of our comfort zone to feel alive, stimulated, excited about the future, about life... it makes a big difference!
What have you done lately that made
you feel proud of yourself?
What baby step will you do today to get
out of your comfort zone?
If you need help to answer these questions, contact me now!
Your life is waiting!
With Mel’s help /life coach
Hi! I'm Mel! I am a life coach, not a writer, but I write articles once in a while which you might like... see under Categories below "articles" and "experiments".